i wrote this post on thursday, but i obviously didn't get to publish it until now...

"Well, today basically stunk. I hate it when you go to Refuge on Wednesday night and get all pumped up, then the next morning you totally wreck the feeling you had the night before by being a grouch. This morning I started off asking God to help me through the day by letting me be open and intimate with his presence and to let me set all distractions and stress aside. But it isn’t enough to just ask Him to do that- I have to do my part. God’s is willing to help me at all times, but I have to be willing to actually take part in the movement I want to make. I can’t keep living like I have been. This sounds weird, but sometimes I feel like a bipolar Christian. One day I’m totally on fire for God, then the next I’m in need of a major attitude adjustment. I have to give to God what He is asking me to give. Like I said in one of my previous posts- just try. If I really set my mind to pleasing him and being 'about the Father’s business' throughout the entire day and not just in that little instant when I first wake up, then I won’t wreck the day that he made for me to make a difference in."
"I know I said earlier that today stunk, but one thing about it that didn’t stink was life group. Every time I go there I feel so connected with people who love God like I do. These people go through the exact same things that I go through. (some of you are like 'duh, of course they go through the same things you do.' But because I’m homeschooled and a little more sheltered than the average person, I feel like this connection is really cool. I am normal! Lol:) Sometimes I feel really disconnected, but God always shows me that I’m not disconnected and that there is a reason for me being set apart. I can connect and be set apart at the same time. At amplified He even allowed me to meet a leader who was homeschooled all of her life, was just as sheltered as I am, and has four younger siblings (just like me). It was such an amazing thing to know that God put that person in the same house as me so that I could meet her and know that I am not alone in the way I’m being raised. It was really God showing me that He knows what He is doing and that I just need to trust Him. He has a plan for my life. Only I can live it. I have to make the choice to make a difference for His glory. I must be a good steward of the time He has given me on this earth. The only reason I’m here is to further His kingdom. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have something to fulfill. I am praying that God will help me to be more determined than I have ever been. I want to be a revolution- even if it’s only at my home, influencing my little brothers. Lol. I am so thankful that God’s mercy is ready to renew itself whenever I’m ready to renew myself. I’m going to do my part tomorrow instead of just asking God to do it all. I’m going to participate in what the Holy Spirit is telling me to do. Well, at least I’m going to try- and if I mess up I’ll stand back up and keep going."

"That was kind of deep for me. Maybe next time I’ll post something funny. ☺"

*vicTORIa*


i'm going to post about the most awesome roots meeting we had tonight, but i need to do about months worth of seven peoples laundry first. lol.

i just want to say "I LOVE JESUS!!!"