back from camp!!!!

camp was a blast, but it was way, way too short. here's what i wrote the night i got back...

"i will stand up!
i will stand out!
i will change this world!

i will take courage and i will have faith in my God! i will serve Him alone. i will follow His ways, only. i will put Him FIRST! i will allow Him to direct me and show me His plans and desires for my life. the end is near, and i am ready. i will do as my Father says and when i fall, i will rise again. i repent of my sins. Father, wash me and make me clean in Your eyes. use me as your vessel. i will take action and i will not waist Your time anymore. i surrender all i am to You! i ask for Your hand to be over the relationships in my life. take hold of them and do your will with them. let me focus on You alone!!- NO DISTRACIONS!!!

i want to be only about You. let everything i am involved in be about bringing glory to Your Kingdom.

i surrender my everything to You!

and i thank You for Your love and for listening to my prayers and cries for direction. thank You for being involved in my life and for never leaving me. i want Your arms to be wrapped tightly around me - guiding me. never let me go! thank You for Your unconditional love.

direct my path. have Your way in me. let me surrender!

I LOVE YOU!"

so that's kind of what i've been feeling from my camp experience. it's definitely easier to write than it is to actually do. honestly, i've already "fallen" and "rising again" is really hard. if you've ever been to a camp like this then you probably understand that it's really hard to come home and act the way you were planning on- acting like Jesus! my attitude has already been messed up and i've lost my patience with my family. and how can i expect to do anything more if i can't even act right at home? this is really aggrevating, but i know that i've got to keep going and keep having faith. i've got to really surrender.

another thing that i felt God speaking to me at camp was to TAKE ACTION! i'm ready to actually do something. i know i've already written my thing about time, but i still feel strongly that i need to do more for Jesus! i'm ready to get off of my butt and change the world. one morning at camp, blake and candace urban and charis and i went to the beach for our quiet time. God showed me this verse...

Jeremiah 1:17-19
17"Get up and get dressed. Go out, and tell them whatever I tell you to say. Do not be afraid of them, or I will make you look foolish in front of them. 18For see, today I have made you immune to their attacks. You are strong like a fortified city that cannot be captured, like an iron pillar or a bronze wall. None of the kings, officials, priests, or people of Judah will be able to stand against you. 19They will try, but they will fail. For I am with you, and I will take care of you. I, the LORD, have spoken!"

isn't that awesome?!! the funny thing is that adam mccain spoke about courage the night before i read this-and then my whole "take action" thing. God is amazing, people!!!!

and one more thing that was really cool...

at camp, tweezy asked all of our youth leaders and pastors to come share or proficy over us. so the first to share was our very own TO. his message was that we need to let God take over- and let ourselves be mere transparencies that God uses to show His glory to others through.

i thought that that was really awesome because that was also something that God has been speaking to me lately. letting myself fade out- forgetting about myself because i am so caught in God's desires. i want to forget everything about my existence because of God. and no- i don't mean that i won't brush my teeth anymore because i want to spend those few minutes praying, but i do know that i need to put God first and allow Him to use me-even if it means sacrificing my desires. and hopefully soon, my desires will become the same as His.

ummm, that sounds kind of like i've got it all figured out, but, lol!, i wish! like i said, things are way easier to write than they are to actually do.

God, give me determination.

ok, that was a really long post yet again.

:-)