well, i was going to give a detailed essay on each important part of my week, but that would take forever. and i know you'd get bored.

so basically, i've learned a lot of great stuff this week. the outreaches that i've gone on have been amazing. some people that we gave water to on thursday actually said that they were planning on coming to our church this weekend. how cool!!

this week i had a conversation with my parents that made me appreciate them even more than i already did. i was reminded of how blessed i am to have parents like them who care about me and my brothers and who also really care about God's will in their lives- even if it means sacrificing a lot.

next big thing:

trying to be patient with my siblings. i think that this is one of the simplest yet biggest challenges i face in my life. this summer i've been out of the house a lot, so when i come home after a long week it's like boom- FOUR BROTHERS!!! patience is something that i'm asking God to give me. i need a ton of work! i want to become perfectly patient over night, but i know that won't happen.

(actually right now my brother is griping at me and i'm losing it!!! HELP!!)

umm...

i need a lot of work on a lot of things in my life. i just came back from camp and i want everything to be just right- live the perfect Christian life. it obviously doesn't happen that way. it's a process.

in st. francisville, thursday night, we sang that song by jason upton called "i surrender". it was really the song i needed to sing. there are so many things that i need to give to God and yet i refrain because i don't want to let go of my own plans. but i know that God's plans are sooooo much better than i can imagine. i've got to let go of myself and my desires and surrender EVERYTHING to Him.

another thing i need help with is my mouth. i say the stupidest, dumbest, rudest things sometimes. it aggrevates me to death. i love how james refers to our tongue as being untamable and how he says that it's like a bit in the horse's mouth- small, but it can make the horse go anywhere it wants it to. the main thing is that i need to think a little longer before i say something and make sure that i'm not going to offend anyone or make myself sound like an idiot.

wow! i've just exposed a lot of my flaws to the public. i wish i had less to write about, but maybe this exposure will help me to decrease the amount of mistakes i make. i hope that i learn from my mess-ups.

another thing i want to do is say that God is so AMAZING!! he totally surpasses everything i could imagine Him to be. he never fails to surprise me with His love. i know i always say this, but isn't it so cool how involved God is in our lives when we let Him be? i think it's so awesome that we can have a relationship with someone so big- the One who created everything!! the One who gave everything to spend eternity with us. the One who cares about our insignificant lives- and who even cares about every minute detail of our insignificant lives. the One who takes our insignificant lives and turns them into something greater that anyone's imagination can think of. we are so blessed to be aloud to call ourselves Christians- to be ables to call ourselves God's children- Jesus' brothers and sisters. and yet we take it for granted. we get so used to the fact that Jesus died for us that we forget how crazy this is! WE'RE LOVED BY THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE!!! HE DIED TO RESCUE US!! WE HAVE A *RELATIONSHIP* WITH HIM!!! HE FORGIVES US!! AND HE ASKS US TO BE A PART OF HIS KINGDOM!!!WE'RE GONNA LIVE *FOREVER*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so why is it so hard to live everyday like it's our last? why is it so hard to step out in faith when we know God's asking us to? why?

God is so much more than we can imagine. my little head thinks it knows, but if it did it would explode. i want to know God. i want to be just like Him. i want to hear His voice, hear His will, see His vision for my life, see His vision for the world, see the ways that He wants us to change the world, be untamed and crazy with His love, be undignified and not care about what others think. i want myself to fade out of the picture and leave only Jesus. i want to forget about my desires, my passions, my fears, my worries and give EVERYTHING to Him.

i'm ready to live like a true Jesus freak.