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okay so...long time since i've posted...sorry.
my life has been really busy lately. lots of awesome stuff has been going on...outreaches, movies, church, hanging with my family and friends, life groups, refuge, goofy little kids movies- lol, basketball games, i also went to a really fun youth night at jordan's school in french settlement this week, i went dress shopping with heather for homecoming!, my aunt, uncle, and cousins got here from iowa,...and a lot of other things that i can't remember. lol. anyway..life's been pretty hectic and crazy lately. and i love it! ummm....i also had school today! eww. i'm trying to get caught up on all of the skipping i've been doing lately...so this week is going to be pretty heavy work. my mom is also making me take the driver's test either friday or monday...ahh! i have a book review due friday, too...and i'm not even half way through the book yet. wednesday is one way. thursday is closer...and we're going to the state fair where the refuge band is playing!! oh yeah! saturday is chick night and enthralled is doing a sleepover afterwards...

okay...all that was really jumbled up information. but oh well. the point i'm trying to make is that my life is pretty all over the place. and sometimes i absolutely love my life and everything about it. i know what i need to do and i understand enough of the vision God has for my life to know where i'm going. but then other times i get so overwhelmed with all of this stuff that's going on. i don't know what i'm supposed to do with my life. i've got decisions to make. things that i don't understand. i get mad about my own flaws and question my own motives. i don't understand myself and just get stressed out and depressed.
so i feel like i'm all over the place and i feel like i can't manage my time and keep a schedule. i have so much that i want to accomplish, but i get so sidetracked and distracted.
i let emotions rule me. i act upon my own feelings instead of letting God's presence be the basis of my life. i know that i can't get all down because i don't know exactly what's going on...but i have to learn to trust God and let Him give me joy to sustain me. i can't depend on hapiness or temporary little highs to boost me up. i've got to let God be my stability- holding me in the times that are hard and confusing and holding me in the times where i understand more and have more knowledge about life. i have to trust Him when i'm over joyed but also when i'm not so joyful.

i love God and all i want is intimacy with Him.
i seriously can't wait for Heaven, but i know that i've still got a lot to learn here and a lot to do here.

so...sorry if my thoughts are not making sense. i need to blog more often. i'm kinda out of practice. lol. but yeah...

oh, another cool thing that happened... i already talked about the youth event at jordan's school, but it was so cool. we were in the gymnasium and the band from calvary church was leading worship. we were singing "where the spirit of the lord is" and it was storming outside- no thunder...just gentle rain and some lightning here and there. i could see the flashes through the windows and the rain was so soft on the roof. there was such a peace in there. and i started thinking about how God is so powerful (like the lightning) and so peaceful and steady (like the rain). it was just an awesome feeling of security in God.
idk. it was just cool.

so yeah...i guess i need to go to bed. i've got a ton of school work to do tomorrow. lol.

tomorrow is another gift from God. another chance to be a world changer. i don't want to waste any time because it is a gift from God.

ok...i'm done now. lol. no more rambling.
see you guys later.

:)
-tori