I'm Back!

i'll leave a big post soon. it's too late to start writing now. i'm tired.

but i have a lot to write and a lot of pics to show.

thank you sooooo much for all of your prayers.

post coming soon...

-tori

MEXICO!!!

hey people,

well, yet again- hectic week! but i loved it. i've been getting ready to leave for mexico!!!(i'm leaving in three hours)

there were a few frustrations with getting ready to leave. the devil was really attacking me- trying to make me sick, trying to make me get stressed out, giving me trouble at the dmv, suceeding to make me lose my patience, etc. but God pulled me through and made everything come together. i'm really soooooo excited about going to mexico! i know that God has huge things in store for us. our team is an awesome group of people- and we have incredible leaders coming. i've been praying that God will give us unity and keep us from arguing with each other, that He will give us courage to stand up for Him, that He will speak to us while we're there, that He will protect us from unsafety or sickness, that He will protect us from any attack that satan may throw at us, that He will use us to change the lives of everyone that we come in contact with, and that He will help us to live pure and blameless lives before Him so that He can use us as leaders and that we prove worthy to be called "Christ's ambassadors". (read 1 or 2 ? timothy and titus- they talk about being a leader)

i know that God has incredible things to do through us. i just pray that we prove trustworthy of the tasks He wants to give us.

God seriously spoke to me about living blamelessly in order to become a leader. you know- i can't expect to lead if i can't control what i say when i'm aggrevated, or if i can't stop doing whatever it is that i know i shouldn't. and it's hard. i know i can't expect to just become perfect overnight, but i know that i have to become very serious about overcoming my flaws.

i'm so excited about what God is doing, has done, and is going to do. i'm just excited about God! He is so much more that i can imagine- and i'm learning more everyday. i'm so glad that He is in control.

i've really grown so much closer to God this summer. and i've learned so much. i really do believe that this has been my BEST summer yet! and it's not gonna stop if i continue to seek God.

through doing equip class, working stream line hours at the annex, going on serve team outreaches, going to early moring prayer, refuge, summer camp, and now mexico, through being surrounded by my friends who are seeking God alongside me, and through being surrounded by amazing leaders who are investing so much into my life, and through the blessing of being able to learn from and trust what my parents are teaching me- i've gotten such a bigger outlook on life and such a bigger vision of what God is and what He can do. i can't contain it any more!!!!!!! i'm so on fire- so ready!

God, use me.

umm, so yeah...

i want to ask everyone to be praying for our team as we go to mexico. thank you so much.

-tori

i promise i'll post soon.

well, i was going to give a detailed essay on each important part of my week, but that would take forever. and i know you'd get bored.

so basically, i've learned a lot of great stuff this week. the outreaches that i've gone on have been amazing. some people that we gave water to on thursday actually said that they were planning on coming to our church this weekend. how cool!!

this week i had a conversation with my parents that made me appreciate them even more than i already did. i was reminded of how blessed i am to have parents like them who care about me and my brothers and who also really care about God's will in their lives- even if it means sacrificing a lot.

next big thing:

trying to be patient with my siblings. i think that this is one of the simplest yet biggest challenges i face in my life. this summer i've been out of the house a lot, so when i come home after a long week it's like boom- FOUR BROTHERS!!! patience is something that i'm asking God to give me. i need a ton of work! i want to become perfectly patient over night, but i know that won't happen.

(actually right now my brother is griping at me and i'm losing it!!! HELP!!)

umm...

i need a lot of work on a lot of things in my life. i just came back from camp and i want everything to be just right- live the perfect Christian life. it obviously doesn't happen that way. it's a process.

in st. francisville, thursday night, we sang that song by jason upton called "i surrender". it was really the song i needed to sing. there are so many things that i need to give to God and yet i refrain because i don't want to let go of my own plans. but i know that God's plans are sooooo much better than i can imagine. i've got to let go of myself and my desires and surrender EVERYTHING to Him.

another thing i need help with is my mouth. i say the stupidest, dumbest, rudest things sometimes. it aggrevates me to death. i love how james refers to our tongue as being untamable and how he says that it's like a bit in the horse's mouth- small, but it can make the horse go anywhere it wants it to. the main thing is that i need to think a little longer before i say something and make sure that i'm not going to offend anyone or make myself sound like an idiot.

wow! i've just exposed a lot of my flaws to the public. i wish i had less to write about, but maybe this exposure will help me to decrease the amount of mistakes i make. i hope that i learn from my mess-ups.

another thing i want to do is say that God is so AMAZING!! he totally surpasses everything i could imagine Him to be. he never fails to surprise me with His love. i know i always say this, but isn't it so cool how involved God is in our lives when we let Him be? i think it's so awesome that we can have a relationship with someone so big- the One who created everything!! the One who gave everything to spend eternity with us. the One who cares about our insignificant lives- and who even cares about every minute detail of our insignificant lives. the One who takes our insignificant lives and turns them into something greater that anyone's imagination can think of. we are so blessed to be aloud to call ourselves Christians- to be ables to call ourselves God's children- Jesus' brothers and sisters. and yet we take it for granted. we get so used to the fact that Jesus died for us that we forget how crazy this is! WE'RE LOVED BY THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE!!! HE DIED TO RESCUE US!! WE HAVE A *RELATIONSHIP* WITH HIM!!! HE FORGIVES US!! AND HE ASKS US TO BE A PART OF HIS KINGDOM!!!WE'RE GONNA LIVE *FOREVER*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so why is it so hard to live everyday like it's our last? why is it so hard to step out in faith when we know God's asking us to? why?

God is so much more than we can imagine. my little head thinks it knows, but if it did it would explode. i want to know God. i want to be just like Him. i want to hear His voice, hear His will, see His vision for my life, see His vision for the world, see the ways that He wants us to change the world, be untamed and crazy with His love, be undignified and not care about what others think. i want myself to fade out of the picture and leave only Jesus. i want to forget about my desires, my passions, my fears, my worries and give EVERYTHING to Him.

i'm ready to live like a true Jesus freak.

detailed post 2

coming soon...
(sorry, i'm too tired to keep writing.)

for those of you who have more time on your hands- here are more detailed versions of the last post. detailed post 1

wednesday i went on an outreach.
we handed out gum downtown again. i enjoyed doing that.
i saw some crazy people...

one guy was sitting down eating his ice cream and as i went to hand the gum to him i realized that his fingernails were painted pink!!!! that was really weird. lol.

then we gave gum to some of the people who were on jury duty, to the bus drivers, and to everyone we could.

we had a man ask if we could help him get some free food. i think we directed him to a church that was nearby. (i think it was first presbytarian) and we told him to call hpc if he needed help with anything else.

i do wish that i would've taken an opportunity to talk to one certain person about Jesus, but i didn't. and i regret it. but as jp told me- "live and learn!".

what was kind of cool about that situation is that the next morning at prayer God showed me a scripture. it said to take every opportunity to do good in these evil times!!!

wow. it kind of made me feel bad that i didn't take the opportunity, but i know that i'm learning from my mistakes. there will be plenty more risks to take- i just pray that God gives me the courage to take them.

soooooo...

this week has been crazy- very busy, but incredible.

this time i really won't go into as much detail as i did last time, but here are some of the highlights:

sunday- i went to see the devil wears prada with my mom. it was cool to hang with just me and her.

monday- i don't remember.

tuesday- i don't remember.

wednesday- i went to prayer at the annex, went to an outreach with the hpc serve team, went to guitar lessons, and then to refuge!!!

thursday- i went to prayer, babysat, and the i went with miss paula, jordan, and cody to the st. francisville refuge. that was really cool!

friday- prayer, orthodontist-ouch!, painting for the vbs set at church (for equip), equip class, water give away with the serve team, more painting for vbs.

today- mexico meeting, rock climbing in lafayette with closer life group. (i didn't climb- i took pictures! yes, i'm a chicken. i'll post pics soon.)

i'm not sure what's going on tomorrow.

and starting monday i'm going to be volunteering for vbs! :-)

i'm absolutely loving this summer!
definitely growing!
God's really been blessing me.

back from camp!!!!

camp was a blast, but it was way, way too short. here's what i wrote the night i got back...

"i will stand up!
i will stand out!
i will change this world!

i will take courage and i will have faith in my God! i will serve Him alone. i will follow His ways, only. i will put Him FIRST! i will allow Him to direct me and show me His plans and desires for my life. the end is near, and i am ready. i will do as my Father says and when i fall, i will rise again. i repent of my sins. Father, wash me and make me clean in Your eyes. use me as your vessel. i will take action and i will not waist Your time anymore. i surrender all i am to You! i ask for Your hand to be over the relationships in my life. take hold of them and do your will with them. let me focus on You alone!!- NO DISTRACIONS!!!

i want to be only about You. let everything i am involved in be about bringing glory to Your Kingdom.

i surrender my everything to You!

and i thank You for Your love and for listening to my prayers and cries for direction. thank You for being involved in my life and for never leaving me. i want Your arms to be wrapped tightly around me - guiding me. never let me go! thank You for Your unconditional love.

direct my path. have Your way in me. let me surrender!

I LOVE YOU!"

so that's kind of what i've been feeling from my camp experience. it's definitely easier to write than it is to actually do. honestly, i've already "fallen" and "rising again" is really hard. if you've ever been to a camp like this then you probably understand that it's really hard to come home and act the way you were planning on- acting like Jesus! my attitude has already been messed up and i've lost my patience with my family. and how can i expect to do anything more if i can't even act right at home? this is really aggrevating, but i know that i've got to keep going and keep having faith. i've got to really surrender.

another thing that i felt God speaking to me at camp was to TAKE ACTION! i'm ready to actually do something. i know i've already written my thing about time, but i still feel strongly that i need to do more for Jesus! i'm ready to get off of my butt and change the world. one morning at camp, blake and candace urban and charis and i went to the beach for our quiet time. God showed me this verse...

Jeremiah 1:17-19
17"Get up and get dressed. Go out, and tell them whatever I tell you to say. Do not be afraid of them, or I will make you look foolish in front of them. 18For see, today I have made you immune to their attacks. You are strong like a fortified city that cannot be captured, like an iron pillar or a bronze wall. None of the kings, officials, priests, or people of Judah will be able to stand against you. 19They will try, but they will fail. For I am with you, and I will take care of you. I, the LORD, have spoken!"

isn't that awesome?!! the funny thing is that adam mccain spoke about courage the night before i read this-and then my whole "take action" thing. God is amazing, people!!!!

and one more thing that was really cool...

at camp, tweezy asked all of our youth leaders and pastors to come share or proficy over us. so the first to share was our very own TO. his message was that we need to let God take over- and let ourselves be mere transparencies that God uses to show His glory to others through.

i thought that that was really awesome because that was also something that God has been speaking to me lately. letting myself fade out- forgetting about myself because i am so caught in God's desires. i want to forget everything about my existence because of God. and no- i don't mean that i won't brush my teeth anymore because i want to spend those few minutes praying, but i do know that i need to put God first and allow Him to use me-even if it means sacrificing my desires. and hopefully soon, my desires will become the same as His.

ummm, that sounds kind of like i've got it all figured out, but, lol!, i wish! like i said, things are way easier to write than they are to actually do.

God, give me determination.

ok, that was a really long post yet again.

:-)