!

wow! the past few days have been awesome! yeah, i had a few moments that i didn't handle well, but the more i mess up, the more it makes me want to seek God.

i've really been trying to press in and grow so much closer to Him. i want to be on a level of intimacy with God that is so deep...i want to know Him. i want know Him deeply. i want my motives to be pure- i don't want to do things so that people will see me-but that they will see God. i want to be an arrow pointing to my Father- not to myself. i will give all of the glory to my God. i don't want to be seen. i just want to be used. i want to be a living reflection of my Father.

so...

refuge was amazing tonight! chad daniel's message covered a lot of things that spoke to me. he spoke about living outside of the natural. in your life, you shouldn't depend on yourself to fix your problems and you also shouldn't focus on your problems. you should focus on God and on seeking Him.

the worship tonight- indescribable. i know that all i want is God. all of my plans, hopes, desires, and dreams...i give to God. He is in control of everything. every detail- He cares about and is in control of. i want to truly live for Him- with all i am.

tonight- i felt such a peace. sometimes i worry so much about my friends, my family, my life, my clothes, and whatever else...and i forget to just let God take over. and somehow- He always reminds me that He's here. He never left. He reminds me that He is all i need- i don't need to worry or focus on anything but Him. He's got plans for me. Big ones! i just have to press into His presence- and stay diligent.

i really believe that God is doing something real in this generation. we are rising up and we're gonna take this world for God. He is using us. we just have to be willing. i want God to take over.

God, take this life...take my heart...take everything i am...God, convict me of my sins, and show me what to do, speak to me, and direct me.

take all the glory to Your name- let me not become proud.

let us draw near to You.
let us know you intimately.
all we want is to see Your kingdom come- that's why we're here on this earth.

let our lives be a monument of worship to You.

let us not lose sight of our purpose.
i pray that You will be proud of us. let us put a smile on our Father's face.

God we are your children. carry us like a daddy carries his young children. hold our hands. teach us. when we fall- heal us. show us your tender love and discipline us. God, we love you. thank You for being our Daddy. hold us in Your arms. and tell us that You are here protecting us and loving us.



okay so...

i love God! yep. He's awesome beyond anything i can imagine.

also...jordan gave me a book by leslie ludy (authentic beauty) that i can't wait to start reading. he gave it to me so i can study it for "making faces". (ashlyn and my life group) but i think that it's going to be good for me on a personal level also. he said that he's in the middle of reading it and that it's awesome...

here's what he wrote about it on his blog:

i've been reading this book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy...yes it's a chick book, and yes there is a reason I would be reading, just be patient...ok so I bought this book originaly to better understand girls and what they go through... i figured if i knew, I would be better able to encourage them and direct them to Christ, which ultimately is what i want to happen with everyone i come into contact with...anyway what I thought would be a look into the female physce actually became a challenging experience...let me explain... though this book is geared towards women, it spoke to me as well...it talked about you being the sanctuary of God and how you must continually clean it, continually gaurd it, and continually use it...I look at my life, and I see all kind of junk that lay scattered everywhere in my sanctuary, and i don't want that...i want my sanctuary to be pure and blameless without blemish...I want my God to feel welcomed and wanted...I want my God to feel adored when he thinks of me... the book also talks about living a life of intimacy and living a life of worship... as i read her story, I find myself longing for what she has...I know i've said it before, but I just long to know my king more and more everyday...I long to grow in my love and adoration for Him everyday...I long to live a life of abandonment for Him that died for me...I mean this book has challenged me in so many ways...

(to read the rest, go here)

so yeah... God is awesome! i'm really becoming more and more aware of my dependency on Him.

and i thank God for my friends and family that help me and guide me and act as examples and encouragers toward me. God has truly blessed me with amazing people to learn from.

well, i'm out.
tomorrow is CLOSER!! if you're in highschool, you're invited! so come.
(ooh, i gotta answer those question!)

okay...see y'all later.
:-)
-tori