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so...it's like 1 o'clock. sorry if this is full of typos and grammatical errors.

i'll try to keep it short cause i'm really tired. :-) haha.

but after reading two of my friends blogs (jamie and amy phillips) it's kind of weird how we all seem to be feeling the same thing. we are crazy in love with Jesus, but everynow and then you just don't feel the energy and excitement that you hope for. and sometimes that's because of all the distractions in our lives. we get so caught up in everything else, and we get stressed and tense, and we gripe and complain. then we get mad at ourselves for not living out our fire for God.

i know the answer is simply to seek Him. just seek Him- even if you don't have the emotion of excitement. in the book i just got done reading (authentic beauty- incredible book...i'll write more about it later) it talked about not basing your relationship with someone on emotions. you can't expect to feel this craziness all the time. your relationship with Jesus has to be based on something deeper than your emotions. it must be based on your love for Him and on His love for you. it has to be built around His faithfulness and His grace.

it's hard. i get so frustrated with myself for making mistakes. i just want to please Jesus, but sometimes i just don't. i fall short and i sin. but i can't just give up...i have to press in and draw even closer to Him.

here's something that stuck out to me in ephesians... "And do not bring sorrow to God's Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, He is the one who has identified you as His own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. "

wow!

i don't ever want to bring sorrow to God. i want to make Him smile. Jesus died just so that i could live to bring Him praise and have relationship with Him.

i don't ever want to take His grace for granted and i certainly don't want to waste the time i have been given- because we all know that it's short. i don't want to miss opportunities to do good. God gives us the chances to make Him smile...we've just got to take them.

and we have to give each and everyday of our lives to Him.
be ambitious. don't expect anything normal- He can make our lives supernatural...if we will stop living out of the natural.
don't confine your lifetime to a pile of ordinary days.
have faith. let God do big things...expect more! be ambitious and trust Him to take you to a deeper place with Him.

like tweezy talked about at refuge wednesday...if we seek God, an uprising will begin inside of us, and then we will change the world around us. pray to be changed on the inside and then we will change the world.

i know i've been harping on this a lot...but when you mess up, don't beat yourself up over it. ask God to forgive you, then get back up and try again. just getting back up will please Jesus...and knowing that should motivate you to do better. we can't let a whole day become trash just because it has a few mistakes in it.

it's like God gives us a page of our lives everyday. we are supposed to write what He dictates to us. but we may mess up one word and try to scratch it out...then we get all worked up over that one word and we want to throw out the whole sheet of paper. but we know the One with the eraser! He can take away the blemish on our paper and we are free to move on and continue writing. we just have to ask Him.

(i know that analogy may not have made much sense...sorry i'm so sleepy! i hope it made some sense though. lol)

also...when i get distracted or mad at myself for not acting the way i should...i remember that verse in the Bible that says "be still and know that I Am God." what more do you need? He is God. do you ever get like really crazed at the fact that you are sitting in your room (or wherever) just talking to God. YOU'RE TALKING TO GOD!! sometimes it's just crazy to think about. He is God! He's God! and you're talking to Him! He sent Jesus to die for you! He took His anger out on His own Son, just so that you could be saved! Jesus died to have an eternal relationship with you! and we get to live everyday with GOD as our closest friend- as our Father! it's just crazy! how can we take His love for granted? how can we spend so much time being selfish or wasting it on stupid temporary things. Jesus wants us to share a beautiful and deep relationship with Him...JESUS! we can walk everyday in His presence. He is in love with us! i just want to know Him and worship Him!

sorry...i'm rambling about the same stuff i always do, but that's what's on my heart right now. i have been given the gift to serve the Savior of the world...and He is in love with me! i don't want to bring sorrow to Him because i'm not living everyday for Him. i don't want to take advantage of His love or of any of my time on this earth. i just want to show Him how greatful i am to Him and of how much i am in love with Him.

so that's about it. sorry i seem to say the same things all the time. but...

I LOVE JESUS!!

see you guys later!
-tori